Arguments
by Valandar
Summary: What's the REAL reason Hermione and Ron fight all the time? Let's find out!


Disclaimer: I am not JKR. And, thus, I don't own Harry Potter. 

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"RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!"

Harry groaned. "Merlin, they're at it again." He set down the _Standard book of Spells: Grade Five_, and slumped back in his chair. The fact that he could hear Hermione's voice all the way in the hall, while he sat in the crowded Gryffindor Common Room, let him know it was going to be one heck of a doozey this time.

Neville winced. "I'm surprised your glasses didn't break with that one," he murmured.

Ginny giggled. "Those two will never learn, will they?"

"I WILL NOT, HERMIONE!"

"Hey, he answered my question!" she giggled.

"Ooh," said Parvati, "sounds like he's not backing down this time."

"Like he ever does," scoffed Seamus. "So, what's the betting pool like so far?"

Harry shrugged. "Dunno. I think Lavender had the signup sheet, I saw her with it when Professor Flitwick put in his ten Galleons."

"Flitwick? Didn't he already sign up for last Wednesday?" asked Parvati.

"Yes, he did," noted Neville. "But if your date passes, you can try to sign up on a new date that's still open. Ten more Galleons, though."

"IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME, YOU WILL REGRET IT!"

"Ouch, that's an eight point five on the Granger Scale," said Colin. "Wish I had a camera out there right now."

"No, you don't," warned Ginny. "If you were within ten feet of Hermione right now with your camera, Madame Pomfrey would be removing it from having been shoved sideways through your digestive tract."

"And if you were within fifty feet of her with it, you'd find out how strong her banishing spells are," added Seamus.

About this time, Sir Nicholas floated through the wall. If he hadn't already been a ghost, it would have been said that he was as white as a sheet. "Don't those two ever settle down?" he asked, shuddering.

"Not likely," said Harry. "Did you manage to find out what the two of them are arguing about now?"

"Not a whit. It's degenerated into the name calling and threat making stage." He shrugged, and suddenly grabbed at his head to keep it from flopping to one side. "Are you sure you won't let me join the betting pool?"

"Sorry, you don't have any living money. And we can't accept dead herring as payment." Ginny paused for a moment. "Although Fred and George would probably take it, they'd use it in a prank of some kind."

Harry glanced up at the clock - really an enchanted hour glass - and groaned. "Gotta go, all. Detention with Umbitch." His unconscious rubbing of the fresh scars on the back of his hand did not go unnoticed by his friends, who winced in sympathy.

"Ouch. What was it this time, the same-old, same-old?" asked Parvati.

"Yeah."

"BY GOD, I SWEAR YOU'RE DRIVING ME NUTTERS!"

"Short trip, Ron," chirped Ginny.

"They've been at it a while out there," noted Dean, as Harry walked to the portrait hole.

No sooner had Harry stepped out than the room was filled with the cacaphony of Ron and Hermione bickering at the top of their lungs, quite simultaneously. Mercifully, the din cut off... mostly... as the door closed behind him.

Katie Bell shook her head. "If he had half that energy during a game, we'd never get scored on."

"Forget that. If we could get them both this mad and point them at He-Who-Shall-Not-Look-Good-In-Pink, the whole war would be won already," said Neville.

"He-Who-Shall-Not-Look-Good-In-Pink ?" snorted Seamus. "Good one, mate!"

"I thought you didn't believe he was back?" asked Dean, prodding him.

"Just 'cause I don't believe, doesn't mean I can't find a joke funny," came the retort.

Unfortunately, the portrait of the Fat Lady chose that moment to open wide, as the arguing pair stormed into the room. "Why is it that I even denigrate myself into these childish antics with you?" snarled Hermione.

"Oh, like I'M the one who starts these things?" protested Ron. "WHO was it last summer who was writing to Vicky? Who was it two years ago who got Harry's Firebolt confiscated? Who was it that got herselfpetriied by trying to investigate alone back in Second Year?"

Realizing they were now trapped in the same room as the pair, everyone else turned pale, and began to slowly sneak out.

"Don't you DARE bring Viktor into this! And calling up Second year is absolutely foolish!" barked Hermione.

"I'll bring Vicky into this if I durn well please!" retorted Ron.

"Oh? Then I guess I should remind you of your antics trying to get a date with Fleur last year?"she sneered.

About thistime, most of Gryffindor Tower had managed to escape, either upstairs to the dorms or through the portrait hole. However, Clin tripped over his own two feet this time. "You guys go on! You can make it without me!" he cried.

The two combatants hadn't even heard. "It was her Veela blood, I tell you! Not like I was a schoolgirl fawning over Lockhart, was it? Oh, not at all!"

"Colin, take my hand! I can't let you face this alone!" said Dean.

"WHAT? Lockhart hasnothing to do with any of this! Yes, he was a fraud, but at least he wasn't trying to kill Harry - or make him drive a flying car from Ottery St Catchpole to Hogwarts!" shrieked Hermione.

Dean managed to snag Dennis's hand,and dragged him out of the portrait hole. "Ge moving, they'll explode any minute!" he cried as the door swung shut behind him.

A huge grin broke out on Ron's face, but he shouted again. "It was London, not Ottery St Catchpole! And how else were we to get there, Dobby had closed the barrier!"

hermione smiled, and stepped closer to Ron. "Oh, like that makes it right?" she said, her voice only marginally lower than before.

"Maybe it does," said Ron, his tone of voice rapidly drifting away from anger and towards something more.

"Think they're gone?" asked Hermione.

"Ayup," said Ron. He stepped very close to her, and wrapped his arms around the pretty young witch.

She smiled, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It works every time, doesn't it?" he asked, as she leaned in and kissedhimgently.

"Ayup. Clears out a room faster than dung bombs." He kissed her back. "I love you, Hermione."

"I love you, Ron"

And as their kissing grew more frenzied and insistant, Ron muttered to her, "Who needs broom closets, anyway?"

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End

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